The equator museum also provided step-by-step instructions eerily reminiscent of Craftsy videos on how to make your own shrunken head.

Step one: saw off your enemy’s head at the neck
Step two: peel the skin off the skull
Step three: parboil the skull-less head
Step four: sew the eyelids and lips shut
Step five: put a rock inside the skull-less head to maintain the head’s shape
Step six: decorate with blue feathers and wear to your next social gathering.

Our guide informed us the government made the local indigenous people stop the practice about fifty years ago.

“Why did they do that?” asked an elderly female tourist from New Mexico.

The guide stared at her, dumbstruck, as did the rest of the group. Of course I couldn’t help myself.

“Why did they make them stop?” I said. “Why? Possibly because Step One requires MURDERING SOMEONE?”

“Well, they could’ve given them a cultural exemption,” the New Mexico tourist responded peevishly. “Like they did with the peyote.”

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